A Life Lesson at the Street Fair

I took my boys to a downtown street fair today. That alone feels like it’s worth a gold medal., a herculean task really, but i suppose you need a little context as to why.

If you hang out with me on social media, you’ve probably heard me talk about being part of a neuro-spicy household. What I don’t always detail is just how “spicy” it is. In the 4 members of my household we have what I call the “Alphabet Soup” of neurodiversities. ASD, ADHD, AuDHD, OCD, GAD, just to name some of the “official “ diagnosis’s.

What to others may seem like an insignificant, one step task in their household, is generally a monolithic, multi-step process in ours. It’s not a bad thing- I love our unique family perspective. but it can make things, especially social outings, a little more… shall we say, challenging.

So when I realized it was the downtown street fair I was intimidated and curious at the same time.

Could we make this a Mommy-and-the-boys date?

Would the boys have a total sensory meltdown, even with their noise-cancelling headphones on?

Did I have the physical stamina and mental fortitude to face the crowds not just myself but with my two sons in tow?

Another thing you should know about me is that, when my boys were really little- I mean fresh little babies- I completely lost myself to Post-Partum Depression and Anxiety. and we aren’t talking “baby blues”. I mean soul-crushing, joy-stealing. energy-swallowing, can’t-do-anything-but-feed-the-baby-and-cry, rock bottom. Not once, but twice (my kids are a few years apart).

Sunk deep in the trenches and swaddled up with objectively, very difficult babies, I began to believe that I would never be able to do any of the “:fun mommy things” I had dreamed of.

As time wore on and we grew out of the “difficult baby” phase and hit the “little kid” years, before I even had a chance to catch my breath after pulling myself out of the depths of mental illness (thank you hubby and therapist for your support!!), AuDHD. ASD and ADHD came onto the scene full force.

Is this a sob-story?

nope.

I love my kids exactly how they are. I’ve learned to love my own complexities and actually thank God my little family is exactly how He meant us to be- I’m merely setting the stage for the life-lesson I was reminded of at the street fair.

So, suffice it to say, between my years in the trenches believing that I “couldn’t” do the fun outings with my kids, and the sensory extravaganza that is a vendor show, i felt like the cards were not. dealt in my favor.

But you know that little voice in your head that whispers that you can do hard things?

Yeah, I was ignoring her hard-core. the voice I couldn’t ignore was my husband’s, encouraging me to go and have some fun with my boys.,

Plus the man handed me extra spending money for the fair, how could a girl say no to that?

Off we went to the fair and, I will admit, it was an absolute blast! Did we have our headphones on/earplugs in? 1000%. Did we have to be reminded about a bazillion times to “look with our eyes” and use gentle hands? also yes (but that’s just kids in general right?)

3D printed trinkets in hand, two bags of kettle corn on the horizon, all was going better then I expected.

Then the unexpected: a gentle reminder through the words of a stranger that nearly brought me to tears.

We were admiring a booth filled with crochet garments (seriously the most beautiful sweaters I’ve ever seen) and, reminding the boys to look and not touch again, I explained how the lady in the booth “makes all these beautiful things just like mommy makes plushies and loveys”

Obviously this began a conversation with the vendor, who confessed that she had triued crocheting plushies but it simply wasn’t for her.

“I get too frustrated and my circles don’t stay circles. So I figured I should stick with the what I’m good at and let someone else do the plushies. We all do different things and that’s okay!”

We all do different things and that’s okay

It’s been hours since the street fair. The kids are asleep downstairs as I type away on my new brown-key keyboard (it sounds heavenly to my AuDHD ears!), trying to capture this feeling.

We all do different things, and that’s okay

Even if the outing looks different. even if it doesn’t happen at all for years. even if you don’t look how you thought you would. even if life feels disjointed from the expectations you held years ago.

Life doesn’t need to change for me to be happy.

Maybe, I simply needed a fellow crocheter to remind me that it’s okay to be different- it’s actually a good thing. If we all crocheted plushies, were would the beautiful sweaters be?

If we all wore grey, were would the sunshine yellow be?

I don’t have a great summary or closing comment for this post. To be honest, it’s getting to be past my bedtime and I’m wore out from the street fair. So i’ll leave you with this:

Don’t be afraid to be the sunshine yellow, you never know who might desperately need some extra color in their life.

it just might be you.